This happens after every big finish. I always feel like there is no where else to go. I always feel that my last accomplishment is the “peak” before the decent. It does scare me that I practically gave up everything to pursue this “dream.” I don’t have a safely net nor do I have anything to fall back upon. I mean, this is it! I pray to God everyday that things will work out. I keep the faith.
I think the one thing that God did for me was actually give me an answer. I know some people pray and pray for decades or even lifetimes and never receive an answer. I remember when I quite my job and decided to produce my own clothing line. I remember that I was sitting in my apartment packing boxes and bags for the “big move” back home and feeling somewhat despondent. The day wore on and when I saw the last rays of the sun pass over the horizon, I remembered that I had not eaten.
I decided to head down to the corner grocery store to get a frozen pizza and a salad. As I was walking, a gentle snow began to fall. I looked up to the darkened sky, I sighed and said in a silent tone, “God, please tell me that what I am doing is the right thing.” For some reason, a snowflake caught my eye and I watched it fall to the ground. Where I saw it land on the ground, I noticed a ten dollar bill. I looked around and this feeling of calm came over me. Right then and there I knew that God was telling me that everything was going to be okay. He had great plans for me and that this was a step in the right direction. Also, that dinner was on him!
It taught me that God really does listen. Things happen for a reason. All the pain, the misery, and heartache…there is a reason. It may not make sense now but it is for a reason and if you look real hard you see that reason.
